Hello! Long time no see. It’s been an intense couple weeks.

I’ve spent the majority of my time sketching. I was able to complete a sketch of a commission I’ve been asked to do. I was also able to compelete a sketch of the next Taiga Series drawing I plan to do, which is going to be of another lynx. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet been able to start the final drawings of either these sketches, so I have no in-progress drawings to show. I’m thinking, then, as a way to show more of my art making process, I’ll post the two sketches, which are rough digital collages I made from personal and copyright free photos and will serve as references for the final drawings.

This is the sketch for the commission, the first drawing I plan to do. The prompt for this commission is a blue hued colored pencil drawing of a crying highland cow.

This is the sketch for the next Taiga Series drawing depicting a lynx.

Both these sketches aren’t completely indicative of what the final drawing will look like. Sometimes I make changes, both major and minor. I also do my best to better blend the collage elements together using color pencils or graphite.

Hopefully I can show some in-progress shots in the next week! But maybe I won’t. I’ve been extraordinarily anxious lately, like there’s a ticking bomb inside me and if I spend any time relaxing, I’ll blow up. So, lately, instead of working on art, I’ve just been running an insane amount of errands, compulsively walking and driving, doing all the laundry, etc, because I don’t want to blow up. I’m scheduled to get my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine next week and, for whatever reason, this has brought up all kinds of feelings of terror. What if I have a rare allergic reaction to the vaccine and, yeah, die? What if my immune system freaks the **** out and I spend another couple months in some kind of Long Covid limbo? What if I get COVID-19 while waiting in line to get vaccinated with all the other people waiting in line to get vaccinated? What if I get COVID-19 before I’m even able to make my appointment? What if all the doses at the vaccination center get destroyed and my appointment gets canceled? What if, what if, what if?

Maybe I feel this way because I believe I am so close to finding my resolution to this pandemic. Getting the Pfizer vaccine, to me, is symbolic of stepping out of the shadowy land of self-isolation I have inhabited for the last 13 months. It is symbolic of warding off the most severe form of COVID-19, allowing me to work my day job with less concerns, less anxiety. I am five days away from getting my first shot. Given how unpredictable life has been throughout this pandemic, five days seems like a long time, a period in which anything could happen, and I’m really struggling to be patient and acknowledge that it’s possible for things to go smoothly.

All that said, I will still do my best to get some drawing done.

Published by Steph Kunze


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